Monday, November 19, 2012
"let it be"
A year ago (and three days) I began my first relationship. Now, if anyone knows me or has been reading my blog for a while... you know how hard and how long it's taken me to finally be at a place where I'm okay with it ending. I would be lying if I said that I was 100% over it, even as much as I would like to say so. I fell in love for the first time. I fell quick and hard without any limitations. He was there for me at a time when I needed him. He loved me during the worst time of my life. He loved me when I couldn't love myself... and he was there when no one else could be. If he wasn't in my life last year... I really don't know where I would be right now, I can't confidently say that I'd even be alive. So, with that being said... I don't regret a single day of our relationship or even our break up. It caused me to face the pain of losing my mom and inspired me to pull myself back together. I'm grateful for everything that I learned from the whole experience. I'm not, however, thrilled that now I look at relationships and my heart very guarded and cautious... although, that's probably what's best. So here's the future, present and past relationships... they've all been apart of creating me into who I am today.