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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

"life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."

-Soren Kierkegaard

Life goes on. I don't know what I'm doing. I slept in until 3pm today. I feel myself getting back into that lethargic, I don't care about anything vibe. I feel myself drinking more often and spending money that I don't have to be carelessly spending. I'm not being responsible right now. I'm not holding myself accountable for anything. I'm not preparing myself for the future or even for right now. I'm being reckless again. If there's one thing that I hate about myself, it's when I'm being unnecessarily reckless.

Today, I want to clean my whole apartment, eat well all day, not drink, call back places for interviews, pack for Sherman and read. I haven't been productive in a couple of days, and I really need to get back into the swing of things. I have some major decisions coming up and I don't want them to be dismissed because of a lazy mentality. Changes will be coming up soon. I'm excited and nervous, but I know it'll all work out how it's supposed to. "If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there." I honestly have no idea where I'm headed, but I'm learning to be okay with that.

I also love living with my new roommate. He cleans, helps cook, is respective and we have good talks. It's interesting hearing someone's perspective of life that's different from mine, but that I actually respect. I also like being the bro roommate, I feel like boys are a lot easier to get along with. I'm happy with the fact that I enjoy coming home to my apartment again.

Everything is evolving, and I'll keep my blog updated. The pictures from above were from Sunday night when my best friend and I went to see The Maine and Lydia. We saw a lot of good friends, had strong drinks and made unbelievably fun new memories. I'm fortunate that I get to see her so often now, she reminds me of who I am and who I want to be. This year is going to be one hell of a roller-coaster ride... and I'm holding on tight!

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