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Wednesday, April 11, 2012

"the one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person"

-chuck palahniuk

I feel like an idiot. I built castles in the air... it had been about two months since I saw my ex-boyfriend, but then on a whim I decided to see him. I had been fine for a month, I was learning to get over it and never wanted to get back together with him. Until I made the worst mistake of my life, and decided to go see him at work. I felt every emotion that I had toward him come rushing back. I realized why he was so special, and why every other guy seemed so irrelevant compared to him. Mistakenly, I thought that we were on the same page and we happy to see each other again. I started building up my fantasy and had hoped we would get back together. He didn't tell me until yesterday that apparently he has a new girlfriend. I'm not going to lie, I'm really hurt and upset by this news. I'm more upset that he didn't tell me when he first saw me, rather than let me believe that we would get back together. I feel like such a fool. I'll get over it though, I never want or need someone that doesn't want me also. I deserve SO much better than that. I went to apply for jobs today in Dallas and my new roommate Wo Dee will be moving in soon! We even got a special cookie delivery from Tiff's Treats and our best friend Shayla! I definitely will be eating my feelings later on and watching butthurt emotional movies. I'll be okay, I'm always okay. I just won't be focusing on love, truthfully that's the LAST thing that I want right now.


Sammy said...

Oh dear, I know that feeling all too well. Keep your head up high and a smile on your face. I hope your ok x

Deer Little Mysteries said...

Stay strong!

I was in love with the same ex for a year after we broke up, and by some miracle we managed to get back together again. It fell apart fast. Sometimes it's for the best that we don't return to past relationships, no matter how much we cared about the person.

You're a lovely girl. Anyone would be lucky to be with you.



Laura Long said...

thank you to both of you! I'll be keeping my head up as much as possible :)

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