I'm afraid. I'll admit 100% that I'm afraid of developing feelings for someone again. I think that's why I've been shutting out everyone that seems remotely interested in me. I'm fucking scared. I don't want my heart to ripped completely open again. I don't want to hurt someone again. I don't want to be that vulnerable again. I don't want to make the same mistakes.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do... or how I'm supposed to be feeling. I don't even think that if I wanted someone right now, that I would have the emotional or physical ability to devote any time or energy to someone else. I work over 40 hours every week. I'm drained... and while, in theory, having someone to come home to sounds good... it sounds even more exhausting. I don't know what I want.